Perfecto!

My very dear friend Blake Edwards has just completed a film to include in You Tube and Sundance Film Festival's Project Direct. They had a month to complete this, it had to be under five minutes, include a red telephone and three other props of their choice from a list of twenty five.

I think this is only skimming the surface of what Blake has to offer to world with his sense of humour and amazing visual ideas. Not to mention it was filmed in my hometown!

Enjoy this piece entitled, "Perfecto!"

George Bush is a Ninja

My commentary is not focused on the reasons behind the shoe throwing.

My commentary is mostly....Who knew George Bush was a fucking ninja?

Honest to God, give him a black suit and motorcycle and call it a day. I can't believe he's hidden this magnificent light under a bushel for so long.

Even Sharks Know Italians Make the Best Food

Instead of complaining about my last hour of frustration over the US Postal Service at the holidays, and how this entry was going to be titled, "Holiday Gifting Should Not Include Ball Licking Threats" I will instead give you the best video of the day.

This is the preview for 'Shark in Venice.' I dare say the best film of 2008. Okay, so I haven't seen it yet. But neither have you and you can't argue this claim. Judge for yourself when it comes on Sci-Fi Sunday night.

All you need to know is that it takes place in Venice. There are gondolas being attacked by man eating sharks. And it stars....Stephen Baldwin. Buckle up.

My Wish List

Just this shirt.

Please do not include the scary woman.

"Smile! It Won't Mess Up Your Hair!"

New York...The city of endless entertainment. Every corner, every train and every deserted subway platform holds the most interesting characters by any stretch of the imagination. I've seen the most talented classical guitar player of my life, a ten piece trumpet group, a man strapped with three different middle eastern instruments and a Rastafarian who plucks a pre-recorded amplified guitar who grunts over the beat. Have you ever seen the old hunchback guy at the Times Square subway who plays the keyboard while dolls dance in front of him? Amazing.

Train entertainment is by far the best way to see a mix of what this metropolis has to offer. From soul groups harmonizing to three piece guitars singing Mexican folk songs and groups of eight year old hip hop dancers who swing themselves around poles. I'm consistently impressed and dumbfounded at what I will see next.

However, last night may have trumped any entertainment I'll ever see in New York City. I was riding home from work later than usual, well after the rush had died down. Somewhere after Grand Central a man got on the train shouting, "Good Evening, ladies and gentlemen! I'm going to sing you a little soul." He commenced banging his cane to the beat of, "Under the Boardwalk" and walked through the aisle singing every single harmony this song includes. It was downright terrible, but I couldn't look away. He was just so happy.

Afterwards he held his hat open for tips and shouted, "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And enjoy your night in New York City, where all the girls are pretty and all have jobs!" A girl reached her hand out with change and he said, "Thank you. You can smile, it won't mess up your hair!"

Probably the happiest and wittiest homeless man who ever existed in New York City. And way better than the weird old guy who plays the lap steel.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Check out this video: Mark Jensen



Just to get you in the mood for a little holiday cheer....Proof that Greg can find anything I ask him to on the internet.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Friend or Foe?

The other night, I took my place on the sofa to enjoy the timeless classic, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" narrated by Burl Ives. This is not a tradition for me, although I do enjoy when my favorite aunt says, "Eat, eat. No one likes a skinny Santa." But the Christmas spirit is running strong with me this year and I felt the need to embrace any and all holiday cheer.

My friends, there is no cheer to be found in this Rudolph classic. None. I'll tell you why.

First of all, from the day Rudolph is born he is forced to deal with his "deformity" of his red, shiny nose. His father is ashamed by his appearance and immediately tries to cover it up with mud. Once the mud is in place, the father finally touches his son in a loving embrace, accepting him. Even Santa makes an appearance and lets Rudolph know he has to work hard if he's going to be on Santa's team one day.

Jump to adolescence. Rudolph is still working hard to keep his nose covered up. And fake noses certainly get in the way of Reindeer games. His nose is knocked off during a clever sports maneuver, revealing his deformity to his entire group of athletic peers. The coach deer rushes over to declare Rudolph officially estranged from the group for his weakness. "Too bad," he says, "He had a mean, (enter sports compliment here)."

Rudolph is sent home. On the way, he runs into his lovely doe, who clearly accepts him for who he is. Unfortunately, her father does not. Their hopes of a romance are dashed. Let me point out here, that so far it's only the females that have been accepting of Rudolph up to this point. The weaker sex or the more empathetic race? Hmmm.....

Meanwhile, there is a very sly little elf named Hermey that does not enjoy making toys. Instead, he feels his skills would be more useful in the dentistry world. This elf isn't like the others, he's more....dentist-like? With his swoopy blond hair and his bright red lips, this elf is cast from the workshop to pursue his dream of "dentistry." He runs into Rudolph and within seconds they are friends, united in their mutual deformities and rename themselves misfits. A shiny nosed reindeer and a....dentist.

At this point, I turned the channel. I know how this ends, because I've grown up singing the songs. Rudolph isn't accepted until he can provide his family and friends with a useful skill. They're distrusting and angry of his being different until they realize his deformity is the one thing that help guide Santa's sleigh. Hooray, let's cheer for him! We thought he was a freak, but he's actually quite helpful. Rudolph for mayor!

Rudolph is the protagonist and we are, of course, on his side. But here's my problem with Rudolph: All he wants is to be accepted. But why would he stick around in the North Pole kicking it with Reindeer who once hated him for being different? Rudolph was born like this. Hermey was born with his love of hygiene. What's wrong with this story, is what's wrong with people. We are completely turned off until it's vital for us not to be.

Rudolph may have been a pioneer for the animal kingdom, but did he really accomplish anything by staying in the North Pole? What if he couldn't fly and had to live his life with a shiny nose? What if Hermey didn't help defeat the Abominable Snowman and was merely helpful around the x-ray machine?

Before you celebrate Rudolph's triumph this Christmas, think about what you're singing about.