Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Friend or Foe?

The other night, I took my place on the sofa to enjoy the timeless classic, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" narrated by Burl Ives. This is not a tradition for me, although I do enjoy when my favorite aunt says, "Eat, eat. No one likes a skinny Santa." But the Christmas spirit is running strong with me this year and I felt the need to embrace any and all holiday cheer.

My friends, there is no cheer to be found in this Rudolph classic. None. I'll tell you why.

First of all, from the day Rudolph is born he is forced to deal with his "deformity" of his red, shiny nose. His father is ashamed by his appearance and immediately tries to cover it up with mud. Once the mud is in place, the father finally touches his son in a loving embrace, accepting him. Even Santa makes an appearance and lets Rudolph know he has to work hard if he's going to be on Santa's team one day.

Jump to adolescence. Rudolph is still working hard to keep his nose covered up. And fake noses certainly get in the way of Reindeer games. His nose is knocked off during a clever sports maneuver, revealing his deformity to his entire group of athletic peers. The coach deer rushes over to declare Rudolph officially estranged from the group for his weakness. "Too bad," he says, "He had a mean, (enter sports compliment here)."

Rudolph is sent home. On the way, he runs into his lovely doe, who clearly accepts him for who he is. Unfortunately, her father does not. Their hopes of a romance are dashed. Let me point out here, that so far it's only the females that have been accepting of Rudolph up to this point. The weaker sex or the more empathetic race? Hmmm.....

Meanwhile, there is a very sly little elf named Hermey that does not enjoy making toys. Instead, he feels his skills would be more useful in the dentistry world. This elf isn't like the others, he's more....dentist-like? With his swoopy blond hair and his bright red lips, this elf is cast from the workshop to pursue his dream of "dentistry." He runs into Rudolph and within seconds they are friends, united in their mutual deformities and rename themselves misfits. A shiny nosed reindeer and a....dentist.

At this point, I turned the channel. I know how this ends, because I've grown up singing the songs. Rudolph isn't accepted until he can provide his family and friends with a useful skill. They're distrusting and angry of his being different until they realize his deformity is the one thing that help guide Santa's sleigh. Hooray, let's cheer for him! We thought he was a freak, but he's actually quite helpful. Rudolph for mayor!

Rudolph is the protagonist and we are, of course, on his side. But here's my problem with Rudolph: All he wants is to be accepted. But why would he stick around in the North Pole kicking it with Reindeer who once hated him for being different? Rudolph was born like this. Hermey was born with his love of hygiene. What's wrong with this story, is what's wrong with people. We are completely turned off until it's vital for us not to be.

Rudolph may have been a pioneer for the animal kingdom, but did he really accomplish anything by staying in the North Pole? What if he couldn't fly and had to live his life with a shiny nose? What if Hermey didn't help defeat the Abominable Snowman and was merely helpful around the x-ray machine?

Before you celebrate Rudolph's triumph this Christmas, think about what you're singing about.