Immortality Never Looked So Good

I honestly don't know how to begin my thoughts on the movie Twilight. The first half of the movie was spent trying to figure out if I liked it. And up until the credits rolled, I wondered how long I'd have to wait until the sequel.

At the end of the day, it's a teen movie. But Katie Dulin has never been one to turn down a teen movie, especially when romance is involved. Especially if you throw in a dash of everlasting life and you know I'm pulling myself up to the table to try this.

Twilight arrived from Netflix and I found myself curled up in the dark, greatly anticipating what I felt I knew was coming. The inevitable scene where the hot Vampire bites his beloved and they can finally have the kind of love making that only immortality can bring.

While that scene never took place, a lot of other things did. Let's take for example, say, the rest of the plot. Edward Cullen, AKA Hotty McHotFangs, spends the first half of the movie telling Bella Swan he has to stay away from her. She's the most desirable prey to one that has given up the taste for human blood, referring to himself as a vegetarian of the Vampire world.

Bella has to be the most masochistic woman on the planet. This sexy Vampire does nothing but tell her he doesn't want to see her, to stay away from him.

"I'm a killer."

"I don't believe that."

"I can't be destroyed."

"I'm fine with that."

"Seriously...I will totally kill you."

"No, Edward. I'm into this."

I can't fully blame her. How cool would it be to date someone who fly?

Edward takes Bella home to meet the rest of his Vegetarian Vampire Family and the only thing they constantly remark on is how great she smells. Edward eventually has to lead her out of the room as his entire family is waiting down in the kitchen, ready to eat her.

Throughout the movie, Bella keeps suggesting that all of this pain could be over. We all know what the little tramp is hinting at. Just bite her already! Just make her one of your own! Just get down to pure Vampire physics here and whip out those pearly whites. Why, the first moment Edward laid eyes on Bella in Biology class, he had, (what I've been referring to) as a Vampire Hard-On. Seriously, he had to cover his mouth.

I laughed and laughed.

So here I am, a full day after watching Twilight and while I thought there were so many funny elements to this story, I can't get it out of my head. Perhaps it's the masochist in me that wants to see Bella finally succumb to the sweet death that lay in Edward's teeth. I hear tale of a werewolf fight in the sequel. Honestly, people, let's get down to brass taxes. I'm in this for the bodice ripping, let's get on with it.

If immortality is wrong, then I don't want to be right.