Gotta Take It Easy With All That Bangin'

As unhappily stated in an earlier post, my office is shared with several other businesses who are all anxious to have a work space near Grand Central. While there are many benefits to not working directly with these people, (like not having to speak to your kitchen mate awaiting the use of the microwave) I admit I have some issues with these strangers who sit next to me.

The Trader, as I've learned, is not a Trader. He's a Financial Advisor. But I'm still going to call him the Trader.

The Trader is terrible. Like, the worst person ever. Thanks to his loud talking and his need to share the intimate details of his life with whomever decides to call him, I know everything about his miserable little life.

He broke it off with his live-in girlfriend this Fall. He had a mourning period during which his mother called a lot. But soon, his boys were calling him and the Trader was back to cursing his ex-lovers name. He started dating another woman whom he took to Florida over the holidays. He got a great deal on the hotel on the main strip. They drank a lot, stayed in the hotel a lot (hu-hu) and hung out on the beach. Although I didn't see the pictures, I heard descriptions of each photo as he was describing them to people on the phone. But this relationship was soon brought to an end when she wanted to change her status of Facebook to 'In a Relationship.' He went back to drinking a lot, apparently in S&M Clubs. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to discuss my latest romp through S&M Clubs until Happy Hour.

A friend of his called yesterday with news of a mutual friend who has Pancreatic Cancer. The Trader replied with, "Oh man...just like what's the fuck's his face. Patrick Swayze? Aw, bummer, man." Yes. Truly a bummer.

Another friend called relaying the pain he felt in his knee, to which the Trader replied, "You hurt your knee? You gotta take it easy with all that bangin'. No doubt. No doubt."

Upon finding out his old college friend had gotten married, the Trader quickly stepped in with reasons why he should get a divorce and and urged him to join in his self destructive drinking and banging cruise ship around Manhattan.

I've learned a lot of privacy in this office and this is one of the many reasons why I never take personal calls here. If I were any sort of math or finance genius, I would start listening to the actual business tips being passed around. But no...It's just eloquently drawing a clear picture of the kind of human I don't want to be. Let's all take a financial tip from the Trader and learn to put our money in bonds, cash out when the market drops and to shut the hell up.

Plus he eats with his mouth open. He's just not a nice person.