Ladies, I'm sick of it. We give men such a bad rap for being the more unkempt of the sexes. Because they are men, we've pegged them as being sloppy, dirty, smelly and unhygienic.
Ladies, you are all liars. I happen to know for a fact that we are more if not equally as disgusting as males. How can I prove this? I use a women's public restroom and often. We are sick, sick puppies.
What's up with squatting? Be frank with me. Are you actually concerned that you're going to infest your rump with germs if you sit on a toilet that's shared with other female co-workers in a bathroom that is managed by professional cleaners? Let me know. I'm operating under the assumption that all the co-workers that inhabit this floor take regular showers, do not carry venereal diseases and have not been swimming in the rivers of third world countries recently. And while we're on the subject, the office bathroom gets cleaned more than my personal bathroom at home. So what's the hold up?
I'll go ahead and say it, I'm a sitter not a squatter. Call it weak leg muscles, call it laziness. But toilets were designed with seats for a reason. And when you spray your urine all over it, people with enough sense to sit down, sit in your pee. This is gross.
Flushers, what's the deal? Why do you flush before you even do your business? I hear you. You get into the stall, close the door, put your foot on the handle and flush before you even sit down. Are you detoxing the toilet water of germs? Because in honesty, I would think if anything you'd be stirring them up again. Is this a back flushing issue? Are you seeing things from your previous guest that you don't want to? A) I can't think of enough instances in any given bathroom containing eight toilets where this would happen. I mean, mathematically, it just doesn't work. B) Get over it. You are all wasting up to ten gallons of water with each superfluous flush. If you're that concerned with germs, don't add to it by pissing on the seat. You're sick.
Leaving toilet paper on the floor, paper towels all over the sink, various other things I won't go into.... You've got a one way ticket to a college frat house, sicko. Ladies, tidy that shit up. I would enjoy walking into the restroom the next go-round and not worry what I'm going to find.
Ladies, if you're insist on squatting...aim that shit. It's all I ask.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
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