Commercials That Weird Me Out

I've been noticing this bizarre new trend in commercials that use animated bad guys to sell their products.

#1. Mucinex.

First of all, gross. Second of all, gross. Now whenever I have a sniffle, I actively imagine that there is a veritable family of little green monsters with gruff thick Bronx accents that all come to live inside my nasal cavity. It's disgusting. I don't want to buy Mucinex. I want to live in a world that doesn't have little green monsters that take over your head.

#2. Toe Fungus Commercials.

Absolutely horrifying. Now there are trolls that live in your nail bed. Little Trolls, people! What's worse is when they animate the actual toe nail lifting up so you can see all the other trolls having their troll party. I have to stop writing this, I'm going to be sick.

#3. Airwick.

These are perhaps that most depressing commercials I've ever seen.... There are a variety of wild animals that have since relocated from the rain forest, the ocean, the desert, the forest....all to live in a conventional house. The one that makes me the most upset, is the frog that has left her rain forest wetland habitat with all of her frog babies. So while cleaning her new home, she enjoys smelling the Airwick 'Rain forest' scent because it reminds her of home, when her wee little frog babies could happily jump on lily pads. Instead, they're jumping on their plush pink couch. I'm honestly the most upset about these frogs and their new upbringing and what this will mean for their future. Why did the mom want them to leave their home? Did it get to boggy?

And the Octopus mom that's cleaning a picture frame, vacuuming and dusting all with her eight tentacles. Even with her eight appendages, she's still tired and needs a rest. She plugs in her Airwick air freshener, and presto chango, she's totally relaxed. Although to tell you the truth, I don't know how an Octopus can relax in an arm chair with a crying Octopus infant with eight rattles nearby.

But the oddest one has to be the Elephant who married that Centipede. Honestly? I mean, Airwick is getting incredibly diverse in their advertising. Thank God we finally live in a world where Elephants can marry whom ever they choose. They even show a framed picture of another family friend...a Pig. But I'm sad that this Elephant seemingly has everything her heart desires...she's out of her homeland of distrusting Elephants and oppressive conditions and that's great. But she still has to clean up after her Centipede husband and all of his sneakers? Geez. Good thing she has Airwick air freshener.

I'm so depressed now for the state of theses animals all over the planet who want a piece of the capitalist society we call home. No wonder the endangered species list is growing.