Why My Head Will Most Certainly Not Explode

So there was a brief period of time where I thought that my head might explode. With my dizzy spells spinning me into an episode of possible Explosive Cancer and a doctor telling me I may have had a seizure, I high-tailed it to the neurologist's office. There, I met the nicest doctor in the greater metropolitan area who told me I had nothing to worry about.

The verdict? Extremely low blood pressure. The cure? Salt, and lots of it. Which is, I'm not going to dance around it, kind of my dream come true. He told me to take Salt Tablets with every meal to raise my blood pressure. I'm to drink as much water as possible and go about my daily life.

What I find the most hilarious about this dietary lesson, is just that. My diet already consists of the eating habits of a college boy. If I could stomach it, I would drink raw eggs every morning like Rocky. I like food that's had time to sit in a grease bucket and baked goods that contain at least two sticks of butter. I exaggerate only slightly. So realizing that my body can't hold on to any of these things, I now welcome the challenge of putting more of what I already enjoy back into it.

Afterall, it's only in the name of science. And I've always wanted to have my own Salt Lick in my stable.