It's Enough to Make You Want to Put a Condom On.

I understand the whole men-think-women-are-attractive thing and their need to verbally express these thoughts and feelings to their attractive recipient. But their need for detail and over abundant descriptions, I just can't grasp.

Case in point. A few weeks ago I was walking back from lunch and passed by a pair of jovial men enjoying a cigarette on the corner. I hear: "Oh man...look at this one. Look at HER. Yes, YOU. YOU in the BLUE SHIRT and SUNGLASSES with the JEANS." I emphasize these words with capital letters because of their sheer emphasis that they placed on these words. Had I bothered to look over, I'm convinced I would find them pointing their fingers at me to emphasize this even more so.

Then I hear what any girl who's casually walking down the street, innocently enjoying the fine New York weather longs to hear passers-by exclaim. "It's enough to make you want to put a condom on!"

Now at this point, my "Oops, I've just been offended" guard went up. Did they mean to imply that they wish to have sexual intercourse with me? Or was it that I looked skanky enough that they needed to place a condom on their penis before engaging in such a private and emotional experience with me?

I'm downright concerned about the stereotyping that goes on in our fare metropolis. Were my jeans too tight? Was my hair too messy? Did I perhaps have a smudge of hot sauce from lunch somewhere on my attire? You'd tell me if I looked too skanky to accept unwanted and unprotected sex, right?!

I understand that this city gets the best of men sometimes. I mean, heck! There are a lot of gorgeous women who roam these streets. But at the same time, there are a lot of gorgeous men. You won't see women hanging out the sides of their cars, waving their arms and screaming, "Your junk makes my junk tingly!" I mean, this just doesn't happen.

I've done double takes. I've even done triple takes. That's just what humans do. But if given a choice between filing the sight of an attractive man away in the The-World-is-Nice file or offending street goers, I'd prefer to keep being a nice person.

By the way. Your junk totally makes me junk tingly.