I'm not a hypochondriac, but for about a year now I've been getting dizzy for no apparent reason. I'll be sitting, standing, laying, walking, whatever...and my vision will go black, my ears will ring and I'll be sent to the floor to recover from a near black out experience. I've been to the doctor four times now, been checked out by a cardiologist and I'm now being sent to a neurologist. I've had blood work done three times with a normal outcome. I've actually been surprised to learn about how healthy I am.
The real kicker was heading into the city Friday night to get some food with Greg and Cat. I felt another dizzy episode coming on and Greg and Cat both took me by my arms on either side and led me off of the train. At this point, I actually did black out. More like collapsing onto the disgusting platform of Canal St. Apparently my face went green, my eyes rolled back and fluttered and I was shaking. Cat was apparently waving her hand in my face trying to wake me up, but my eyes were open. I guess I was out for ten seconds and when I came to, they walked me over to the steps to wake up.
To my surprise a doctor, yes an actual doctor was in front of me. Apparently he was on our train. This only happens in movies, but it happened to me. He took my pulse, asked me questions and talked to me while I started feeling more normal. My vision came back though my ears were ringing for another few minutes. He told Greg that he could barely feel my pulse, that I needed to be wearing a heart monitor and get more blood work done. Unfortunately, I've worn three heart monitors now, though it's been awhile. When I came to, Cat was sobbing and kept hugging me and Greg was pacing.
After I stood up, I refused to talk about it for awhile and we went to dinner. Afterwards I went home for rest and began the downward spiral of denial, extreme panic and worrying myself into the invention of new symptoms. I saw my doctor that weekend, who thinks I may have had a seizure. Now, after a straight year of telling someone that something was wrong, they're actually taking me seriously. I took Monday off and called every neurologist in the greater New York area. Apparently every neurologist in the greater New York area are either vacationing in the Hampton's or they are assisting other bizarre head cases for the next week. I hope to know more by next Tuesday when I finally get to see someone.
And in an effort to calm myself and stop my mind from inventing the worst, aside from what the stupid Internet tells me... I'm going to make a list of possible things that are wrong. This is loosely based on what webmd.com has already informed me of.
1) I am already dead.
2) I'm going to have a stroke.
3) My low blood pressure is going to send me into another seizure which will eventually lead to death.
4) I have an aneurysm which will of course rupture the next time I'm alone on the train without my beloved boyfriend or friends around to help me. Then I will be eaten by feral rats and my purse will be stolen by the tunnel dwellers of Brooklyn.
5) I have full body cancer.
6) I'm actually not composed of normal cells and chemistry. I'm a mutant life form which the doctors are too embarrassed to tell me about.
7) No one will figure it out until I wake up one day with super human strength that I've kept dormant for years because I couldn't deal with the sheer destructible force I was composed of.
8) I'm allergic to air.
9) My brain is too large for my skull.
10) I'm actually a sub creature. A dark lord of the sixteenth century. And I've come here to destroy you.
There. Now I feel better and can rest easy that I at least got my concerns out into the vast void that is the Internet. If I do not blog again soon, please check for tunnel rats who are wearing Burt's Bees chapstick. They stole it from me after that ravaged my cancer ridden, subhuman body.
The real kicker was heading into the city Friday night to get some food with Greg and Cat. I felt another dizzy episode coming on and Greg and Cat both took me by my arms on either side and led me off of the train. At this point, I actually did black out. More like collapsing onto the disgusting platform of Canal St. Apparently my face went green, my eyes rolled back and fluttered and I was shaking. Cat was apparently waving her hand in my face trying to wake me up, but my eyes were open. I guess I was out for ten seconds and when I came to, they walked me over to the steps to wake up.
To my surprise a doctor, yes an actual doctor was in front of me. Apparently he was on our train. This only happens in movies, but it happened to me. He took my pulse, asked me questions and talked to me while I started feeling more normal. My vision came back though my ears were ringing for another few minutes. He told Greg that he could barely feel my pulse, that I needed to be wearing a heart monitor and get more blood work done. Unfortunately, I've worn three heart monitors now, though it's been awhile. When I came to, Cat was sobbing and kept hugging me and Greg was pacing.
After I stood up, I refused to talk about it for awhile and we went to dinner. Afterwards I went home for rest and began the downward spiral of denial, extreme panic and worrying myself into the invention of new symptoms. I saw my doctor that weekend, who thinks I may have had a seizure. Now, after a straight year of telling someone that something was wrong, they're actually taking me seriously. I took Monday off and called every neurologist in the greater New York area. Apparently every neurologist in the greater New York area are either vacationing in the Hampton's or they are assisting other bizarre head cases for the next week. I hope to know more by next Tuesday when I finally get to see someone.
And in an effort to calm myself and stop my mind from inventing the worst, aside from what the stupid Internet tells me... I'm going to make a list of possible things that are wrong. This is loosely based on what webmd.com has already informed me of.
1) I am already dead.
2) I'm going to have a stroke.
3) My low blood pressure is going to send me into another seizure which will eventually lead to death.
4) I have an aneurysm which will of course rupture the next time I'm alone on the train without my beloved boyfriend or friends around to help me. Then I will be eaten by feral rats and my purse will be stolen by the tunnel dwellers of Brooklyn.
5) I have full body cancer.
6) I'm actually not composed of normal cells and chemistry. I'm a mutant life form which the doctors are too embarrassed to tell me about.
7) No one will figure it out until I wake up one day with super human strength that I've kept dormant for years because I couldn't deal with the sheer destructible force I was composed of.
8) I'm allergic to air.
9) My brain is too large for my skull.
10) I'm actually a sub creature. A dark lord of the sixteenth century. And I've come here to destroy you.
There. Now I feel better and can rest easy that I at least got my concerns out into the vast void that is the Internet. If I do not blog again soon, please check for tunnel rats who are wearing Burt's Bees chapstick. They stole it from me after that ravaged my cancer ridden, subhuman body.
1 comment:
oh katie, i always knew you were a mutant lifeform.
(on a serious note, that sounds scary, i hope that the tests give some clarity as to what is going on...big hugs!)
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